Twittering the Sparrows

I don't post lists of my weekly tweets. Most wouldn't make sense if you weren't there (I reply to others a fair bit). However, I have been keeping a list for awhile of my most popular tweets. These are the ones that cause comment, get retweeted, included on blog posts and generate direct messages/emails.

Whenever you see articles about Twitter, they tell you to post stuff people want to read. This is usually interpreted as being original stuff, commenting on current events and telling people how to use Twitter. Things like pets, food and what's happening on Twitter are listed as bad topics. This hasn't been my experience... as you can probably figure out from my most populars.

(Comments on the tweets are in brackets.)

The Tweets

Ate a chocolate with real gold on top. The gold didn't taste of anything, but I can say 'I ate gold'. Now I'm sparklie on the inside. 09:34 PM Aug 16th, 2008


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I have fruit gums shaped like their flavour. The shapes include oranges, bananas, pineapples... and palm trees. I wondered at the last one. 11:31 PM Nov 2nd, 2008

Fruit gum update: No, the palms trees aren't coconut. I think they're palm leaf flavour. Then I found red ones shaped like birds... 12:03 AM Nov 3rd, 2008

(I didn't make this up. Those were some strange sweets.)

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@panhistoria I follow me to remind myself to post, because once I realise myself has not updated, I tell me to prod myself to write a post. 2:31 AM Nov 10th, 2008 in reply to panhistoria

(Replies based on replies are less common now, as Twitter changed who could see them.)

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Tapioca pearls looks like little jellied eyeballs. You can eat them with that eyeball "Ew" feeling, whilst knowing they're plant based. 3:57 AM Jan 5th, 2009

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When I switched on my fishtank light this morning, two baby fishes were peering at me. 5:41 AM Jan 10th, 2009

(Became this post: http://polenth.blogspot.com/2009/02/eating-your-baby-projects-fishy-tale.html

To finish the story, all four babies survived to adulthood.)

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Much as I think fish are cuties, calling them sea kittens is bizarre. Will spiders become silk kittens? You wouldn't squish a kitten. 11:34 PM Jan 13th, 2009

(Became this post: http://polenth.blogspot.com/2009/01/save-silk-kittens.html)

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Hatched from an egg, ate lots of sugar, got me a paperclip hoard. Still searching for the ultimate paperclip. My world is purple. #MyStory Jan 30th, 2009

(#MyStory is a tag for putting your life story in one tweet. I was inspired by the number starting "I was born". I didn't see anyone who claimed to be artificially created in a lab, but that is a bit long when you've only got 140 characters.)

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Replies come and go / Whale watching from the strandline / Twitter addict mourns Apr 5th, 2009

(I probably should have tagged this #haiku, but I didn't. Written during one of Twitter's flakey times.)

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I don't hold follower contests, but if I did, it'd be for the 942nd follower. Follower 942 never gets any love. May 1st, 2009

(Many people give out gifts to the 1000th follower and so forth. I'm not convinced this really works, as you want people to follow you for being you... not because you're giving them presents.)

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Ordered some predatory mites for the cockroach! It's a bit like buying a flea collar for a cat. Only more mitey and organic. 7:16 PM May 19th, 2009

(This one sparked a conversation because people didn't understand what I meant - that the mites were to clean the cockroach, not that the mites killed the cockroach. It didn't lead to a post, but if you'd like to see my roach, here he is in all his roachy glory: http://polenth.blogspot.com/2009/05/cleaning-out-cockroach-tank.html)

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Thing said to a friend that sound odd out of context: "Coconuts aren't steampunk" 2:18 AM May 22nd, 2009

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@SarahReads If I lived in a fantasy world, I'd be a turnip farmer. 12:24 AM May 28th, 2009 in reply to SarahReads

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Ouch. I've got honey in my eyes. My vision's all blurry. 1:21 AM May 28th, 2009

(From the responses, I discovered that most people have never had honey in their eyes, so I suppose this one did come across as original. I don't suggest putting things in your eyes to have something original to tweet about.)

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@VirtualLee The only time I tried to use 'Down for everyone or just me', their site was down for me. 2:22 AM Jun 2nd, 2009 in reply to VirtualLee

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Twitter doesn't want to list my new followers/followees. Maybe it's sulking. Or the fail whale ate them, like digital krill. 9:51 PM Jun 3rd, 2009

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From a fly paper packet: "contains 3 attractive fly killer strips". You couldn't kill them with ugly strips after all. 3:21 PM Jul 10th from web

(Fun fact: We have to use fly papers because of my pets. Fly sprays would kill my cockroach, snails and fish.)

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I made my eyes into Second Life eyes. Now people can stare at me with my own eyes! It's my own personal horror story. 12:47 AM Jul 22nd

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Twitter claimed I had -1 followers. I wonder what a negative follower is like? Other dimensions? 11:11 AM Jul 23rd, 2009

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I have a Hallowe'en balloon, with helium inside and a spider on the outside. The reverse doesn't work so well. 9:16 PM Oct 16th, 2009

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Spam Title: "Are you still alive/dead?" Reply: Yep, still dead and planning the zombie apocalypse. 3:06 AM Oct 22nd, 2009

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If Animal Crossing sold an e-reader, it'd be called the Nook. More memory available for only 19800 bells. 11:51 PM Oct 22nd, 2009

(I think the responses to this one proved that other people don't take the Nook seriously as a name either... and this was a current event, so I do mention them sometimes.)

Conclusions

Generally people replied to things they found funny (even when I was in pain, like the honey incident... you meanies). The list is somewhat skewed to funny because I didn't include responses to content links (like blog posts), which tend to generate more serious replies.

But you don't need anyone to tell you how to link to a blog post... it's the tweets inbetween which get people worrying about being the most original thing since sliced bread. My experience has been it isn't about what you're talking about. It's about how you say it. People already know voice is important for stories and articles. It shouldn't be news that it's important for Twitter too.

Now if only I can convince social media experts that voice is the thing...

The Weakest Link

One of my family brought a new pair of speakers at the local supermarket. A simple task, apart from one thing... they're paranoid about people stealing electronic goods. Even large goods that you can't exactly hide.*

This means they put two security tags in each box. Or three. Or a dozen. Inevitably, the staff sometimes miss one when you're paying for the product.

So our speakers set off the alarm at the security barrier. After this we...

• Opened the box.
• Removed the speakers.
• Rummaged around for the tag.
• Removed the tag.
• Put the speakers back in the box.
• Handed the tag to a checkout person.
• Went through the security barriers again.

All in full view of the staff. No one asked to see our receipt.

As usual, it's the humans mucking things up. It'd be a lovely security system without them. If I were a security barrier, I'd be crying right now.


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* I suppose you could pretend you're pregnant, but not many unborn babies are square.**

** This is an assumption of course. If your baby was square, let me know. I blame eating too many food cubes.

Writing Diary: Return of the Monster

The blog's been a bit quiet as I've had non-writing related things to finish up. I aim to be clear by November, when I'll be blogging more and doing NaNoWriMo*

Writerly Stuffs

I've had a few bits and bobs published since last time (see recent blog posts). My dog poem was the most viewed on Every Day Poets in one of the months, so there's also a little interview with me coming up soon about my poetriness**.

My other submissions have been down a bit as I've been busy, so not much else on the horizon so far.

NaNoWriMo

As mentioned last year, I plan to write short stories rather than a traditional novel. My aim is to write a novel-in-stories about colonies on Jupiter's moons (a hard science fiction type of thingy). Though I will include any random stories that don't fit the theme in the wordcount***.

My buddy list was getting a bit long, so I've removed anyone who didn't love me****. I'll do a further cull of people who aren't taking part this year (once it's started obviously). If I removed you by mistake, prod me. Or if you add me all fresh and new, prod me*****. It can be tricky to spot new names with their buddy system.


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* For those who hate NaNoWriMo, never fear... I blog about other stuff during it as well. You can just ignore all the evil NaNo stuff. Apart from the monster.

** I think it'll be some time in November.

*** Last year I wrote a novelette about rabbits, which was nothing to do with the actual novel. But it's better than copy/pasting 'I am a fish' multiple times. At least it's a story.

**** Translated: Anyone who hadn't buddied me back. I gave 'em two years.

***** My NaNoWriMo profile is here: Polenth's NaNo

Everyman Characters and Peaceful Fish

I've seen complaints before about everyman or everywoman characters. Those complaints are usually that they're boring. Why write about an average person when you can write about a superhero with laser beam eyes and a dinosaur pet!*

And it reminds me of a funny complaint from a new fishkeeper. He'd brought a number of fish labelled as 'peaceful community fish'. The first thing they did when he put them in the tank? They started fighting.

The fish were from the tetra and danio group. They have a dominance hierarchy, so the fights were to decide who was the boss fish. They're harmless posturing usually.

'Peaceful' meant they didn't attack and kill other fish... not that the fish were mindless blobs who'd swim around the tank ignoring all the other fish.

In the same way, being an average sort of person doesn't mean a character has less personality than a sack of potatoes. Everyday people have goals, quirks and things that make them interesting. They're only boring if you make them like the imaginary peaceful fish... just there to swim around aimlessly.


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* Not that these things aren't nifty. I'd like a pet dinosaur.